So here's the thing. On July 7, 2014 I had gastric sleeve surgery. I searched online and I found lots of blogs. But none really started in the beginning. And the beginning is what I needed help with. You see, because after my surgery, after I loosened my grip on that morphine button at the hospital and came home, I completely started to freak out.
Everyone kept asking, "are you excited?!?!" Um, no. Actually, I'm not excited. I'm freaked the fuck out.
I'm worried it isn't going to work. I'm worried I'm going to spring a leak. I'm worried I made a huge mistake. An unfixable mistake that I can't undo. I found myself laying in bed resisting the urge to call the hospital and check if they have my 2/3s of a stomach on ice. Maybe I could get it back and get a slice of pizza?
Did I rush in? Did I make a mistake? Well, the reality is there's no going back. Those 2/3s are long gone, and I can't undo what I did. Don't get me wrong, realistically I don't wish I didn't do this, because I think in the long run it will help my health. But I wanted to write this for myself, but also for the next "me"--the next person who goes online and can't find the real stuff. Lots of blogs have pretty before and after pictures and recipes. Those are great, but I wanted to hear about the real crap, like for example, that actual crapping is a thing of the past. Or the bleeding coming from my belly button. Normal? Not normal? Or these pains I can't describe, or how I have no idea what is what in my abdomen. I can't tell if I'm hungry or full or gassy or what. It's like a mystery.
So it's gonna be straightforward. It's gonna be gross. And it's gonna be real.
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